Joke Time
Q. What’s the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse
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April 11, 2006
Horse Joke, everyone!
I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank Goodness for heroes!
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March 21, 2006
Girlfriend thinks you’re a Beast?
I saw this site Signs your girlfriend Suspects that You’re a Closet Animal Lover!!! Its about how you’ll find out if your honeybunch thinks that you’re leaning to your bestial side! Hahahahaha!!! Anyway I just like to share it with you people. I thought perhaps you guys may like it. Not to mention find it useful someday! Again it’s Beastiality Blog!!! HEHE
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March 14, 2006
Return of the Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines
Return of the Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines
Read it and laugh your hearts out..
More Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines
So what were you and Buster(the dog) doing alone in the woods at THAT time of the night? (As IF we DIDN’T already guessed….)
Here pussy, pussy. Wanna come out and play?
Can I join you in taking Rover out for a walk?
What exactly will we do in a petting zoo, Honey?
Dog damn it!!! I suck!!! I suck!!!
Hot Dogs!!! Get yer Hot Dogs here!!! Large and juicy Hot…..Dogs!!!
Girl: I want a horse for my Birthday!
Dad: What will you do with a horse?
Girl(Pauses for a moment): Ride on it?
Whoa! That elephant is HUGE!
It was a dogday afternoon.
And last but not the least bestial sexually slanted line (drum roll please)….
Fucking horse….!!! He SUCKS!!!!
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March 10, 2006
Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines
Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines
Here are some lines I heard while having a short drink in a bar which I will remain unknown (mostly from fear from regular customers who might recognize what they just they said from this little piece… *_-). They kind of sound dirty if you try hard enough. Sort of how like “picnic in the grass” or “frosting the cake” can sound explicit to those who really want it to. Anyway, enjoy.
Top Ten Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines
10. That stallion gave me a hard ride yesterday!
9. Have to go, my animals are pretty lonely without me at home.
8. Can I join you in taking Rover out for a walk?
7. Just think about what you wanna do before you do it.
6. Drinking cow’s **** is good for your health. (I wasn’t able to hear it clearly. You figure it out. *_-)
5. I don’t like the way your pussy smells.
4. Damn dog! I’ll fix you out yet!
3. Let’s do it doggy-style this time. Bring your dog.
2. Person 1: So what did you do yesterday?
Person 2: Nothing much, just playing with my dog.
And the number one bestial sexually slanted line (drum roll please)….
1. Flipper SUCKS!!!
Animal Jokes, Farmsex | Sven | Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines | | Comments (1)
March 3, 2006
More Reasons Why You Should Fuck Animals
More Reasons Why You Should Fuck Animals
You don’t have to spend a fortune buying that diamond ring only to find out that the bitch had already hooked up with the richest guy in the block.
They are open about having multiple partners.
You don’t have to rush to the nearest drugstore late at night to buy a condom.
Sex is better between friends. Who better than Man’s best friend for that matter?
They don’t transmit sexually transmitted diseases.
They don’t get squimish if you want the sex dirty.
They don’t care much about where you fucked them.
They don’t charge you by the hour when fucking them.
Exotic breeds are always affordable and available at the pet shop.
They won’t drive you away by asking, “When are you gonna marry me?”
Animal Jokes, Farmsex | Sven | More Reasons Why You Should Fuck Animals | | Comments (2)
March 1, 2006
A Bestial Tongue Twister Part Eight: I cannot bear to see a man of Nowhere
Oh lookie!!! I got another one!!!! 
I cannot bear to see a man of Nowhere
Banging down upon a mare.
When bare of wear he fucks the mare,
Right there I cry, “Forbear!”
Animal Jokes, Farmsex, Horse Sex | Sven | A Bestial Tongue Twister Part Eight: I cannot bear to see a man of Nowhere | | Comments (2)
February 23, 2006
Some Reasons Why Having Sex With Animals is Better than Sex with other Humans
Here are some of my reasons why nonhuman sex is better than human sex. Feel free to add some of your own if you like. The whole thought sent me laughing my head off. Read and enjoy. 
Some Reasons Why Having Sex With Animals is Better than Sex with other Humans
1. You don’t have to pay them first.
2. YOUR size doesn’t matter to them.
3. You don’t have to treat them to a candlelight dinner first or buy them chocolates.
4. You don’t have to waste your bloody time on foreplay first. You can fuck them right away.
5. No one can sue you for rape or child abuse.
6. They won’t blab if you ejaculate prematurely.
7. You don’t GET AIDS.
8. Menstration doesn’t apply to their females.
9. It doesn’t matter if you chain while having sex.
10. You can’t get the other party pregnant.
Animal Jokes, Farmsex | Sven | Some Reasons Why Having Sex With Animals is Better than Sex with other Humans | | Comments (1)
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